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What lingered after them was not life, but the most trivial of mundane facts...

We Would Never Be Sure About The Sequence Of Events. [we argue about it still]

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FKA twigs Furby

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August 31st, 2009

one last request

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FKA twigs Furby
Okay, y'all. Time to milk this bitch for whatever it's worth.


New Blog: http://rodbastanmehr.blogspot.com


Twitter: http://twitter.com/RodSaveTheQueen


Tumblr: http://rodbastanmehr.tumblr.com




If you have any of these, add me/follow me/whatever me. I'll still sporadically (slash probably never) update this thing, but I'll never be able to bring myself to delete it. Too many posts, too many memories. Everything from here on out will really just be for my own personal keeping. From MSAT to UCSC, this thing has been a constant. I'll need it to time travel.

December 14th, 2008

WAYG?

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Rainbow.
Home again. While I'm tempted to say 'at last', the fact that there was a mere week in between thanksgiving and winter break makes it difficult to call this long awaited. I'm too happy to be home, which causes me worry about how happy I am in other regions of life. It's an odd dance of self-identity when you have to question your euphoria because of what it might say about your comfortability. But I'm happy. I'm happy enough. I'm happy.

I'm currently in limbo on how this last quarter went, with grades having yet to come in and stuff with the paper at a bit of a standstill. My Intro to Digital Media class took the title of "Most Despised Class in my Educational History". Although, with the grades I managed to get in that class, maybe it wasn't so bad after all. I bullshitted my way through an absolutely ridiculous 'project proposal' that ended up being about 10 pages of nonsense, and managed to get an A. Luck, smarts, my conning ability - I don't know who to thank. All is well for now.

The paper. It's be an interesting quarter, one that has tested just how much I can handle, how much I love it, and more. A little over a week ago was the end of the quarter meeting with the editors, in which I walked in planing to resign and take the next quarter off. About 20 minutes later, I walked out having been offered my very own column. It was one of the greatest and most satisfying moments of my life thus far. The paper has never, in its 40+ year history, ever had a columnist, meaning I'd be the first one since the publications inception. They said that I have a powerful voice that they don't want to sacrifice anymore. My topics. My sources. My opinions. It's a beautiful thing, validation for hard work. I walked out and walked to class and everything looked so much more stable. Everything suddenly made more sense, and for the first time, I realized who I want to be and the things I want to do. One step at a time.

I was reading at the Oaks steps last Tuesday, waiting for Stephanie to get back from her final, when I met a guy on who was tall, talkative, and an journey-man. It was the first time I had met one, and in the five seconds it took him to shake my hand, I remembered everything that's important in life, and got a vision of how I want everything to be. I'd forgotten for awhile. That kind of soul-shaking interaction, makes you realize your skin and clothes don't matter too much. Where are you going?

November 5th, 2008

Change.

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FKA twigs Furby
My mom use to say that Iran had the most beautiful skies.

I remember her always talking about how beautiful the blue skies were, and that no matter how bad the weather got, there was always this odd tint of blue that would manage to seep through. In her foreign-chopped english, she would always tell me just how much she loved those blue skies. She still talks about it from time to time. Whenever it's a beautiful day, she mentions those skies. Anytime it gets too hot, she mentions those skies. Anytime it gets too cloudy, she mentions those skies.

My mom fucking loved those skies.

I actually remember her pointing it out to me when we went to Iran together all those years ago. I was too young to really understand it (or for that matter, remember it), but I got the gist, and I now realize that anytime the weather is shitty, I'm subcontiously comparing it to those skies. I was lucky enough to get to watch them for three months when I was young; my 8 year old brother has yet to bask in them.

This post is simply for me to be able to remember this moment weeks, months, years from now.

I want to remember pride. I want to remember power. I want to remember what it felt like the moment I realized that my generation had come together to help support a push for a better future. A moment where we were all a part of changing everything forever.

At the very least, I want to be able to look back at my naiveté if, god forbid, everything ends up getting worse.

But for now, I'm simply hopeful and, above all else, happy. I'm happy for me and my generation, but most importantly, I'm happy for my mom. My mom, who called me crying with joy, who kept reminding me that everything would get better, who continuously looked at those blue skies from a childhood gone as something to emulate, not remember.

For her, I hope that tomorrow's skies are bluer than she could ever imagine.

October 20th, 2008

AHFWL&F.

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FKA twigs Furby
Jeez, this year is something. At the request of Casie Stocking, I"m going to try and update this baby.

I feel like all I'm doing is writing, writing, writing. A LiveJournal post, in retrospect, may not be the best break from that issue. Between City On A Hill press, the possibility of being an editor next quarter, DVDtalk (which I decided to stay with), and FishRapLive! (this funky, alternative Santa Cruz publication that I'm now a contributing writer for), I feel like all I'm doing is typing away for hours at a time. I love it

Oh, and I think I'm also taking classes. Who knows.

Other Shit - including pictures.Collapse )

September 19th, 2008

I logged on to Facebook, which used to be so comfortable and simple, and was greeted with unneeded complexity. The melancholy yellow banner at the top of the page read, "The 'new' Facebook is now the only Facebook" - a horrendous stamp of finality considering that up until now, it seemed that had the choice to pick between the original format or the 'new' one. I had no idea that regardless of what I wanted, it would change, without so much as a choice in the matter. It pretended to give me free reign, but just like everything else, it eventually made the decision for me. It's so much more difficult, so much more confusing, so much more complex. I miss when it was easier, and when it didn't require so much of me, and so much fucking effort. I miss when it was fun instead of scary. I used to log on, and not think about anything other than basking in the enjoyment of its simplicity. Now, it's demanding and overwhelming. I keep hoping that it'll go back to the way it use to be, but honestly, I know it never will. I'll go on tomorrow, hoping for it to be easier to maneuver through, but realizing that it's not the site that needs to change - it's I that needs to adapt to it. This is how it is, and I can't change it. It goes on. We go on. I go on. But, no matter how much I try to convince myself that it's inevitable, natural, and enjoyable, I'm still scared.

Worst of all, I keep holding on to that naiveté, such as convincing myself that this post had anything to do with Facebook at all.

September 6th, 2008

Casting.

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FKA twigs Furby
Okay, people.

At dinner tonight, Leesa, Hadas, and I began casting Terra Linda: The Movie, and hit some pretty fantastic casting decisions. My personal favorites are:

+Matthew McConaughey as Mr. Teakle
+The Waynes Brothers as Jamila & Zahara
+Judi Dench as Ms. Else
+Gary Coleman in a wig as Ms. Knell (also acceptable: the sassy black bitch from Grey's Anatomy)

While there were many others (some not so good, some who don't even go to TL, and some that were animated characters), I'm curious to know what everyone's ideal cast would be. So let your imaginations flow and give me some casting! This could prove to be heinously hilarious, since I choose to exclusively surround myself with hilarious people. Good stuff, lambs.


And yes, I would clearly be Mr. Bean. Thank you.

August 5th, 2008

I cannot for the life of me believe that I am nearly 20 years old.

It's such a ridiculous thing to even try to fathom, that nearly two decades of life have passed - that's feasibly enough for an autobiography. I've come to the conclusion that 19 may arguably be one of the oddest years of ones lifetime, with the exception of maybe 38. What is it to be 19? Your final year of being a teenager, but at a point where you can't revel in the ignorant bliss of sly youth. Yet, not quite at 20, the age of adolescent adulthood, where you can make the mistakes that are allowed (and seemingly expected) of the young, but still old enough to not only know better, but to be able to identify that you've made this mistake many times before. It's such an odd limbo, and I find that surreal nature is only enhanced by the unavoidable facts of "my generation".

At (nearly) 20, is it finally time to view your era's meaning in hesnieight, or is it still radically premature?

I've been talking to various friends and family about what I think of this generation. Now that I am at an age where I have seen its faults and its beauty's, and now that I can look back with no only an actual opinion, but with an enhanced ability to understand, what exactly our we? What have we done? I can't truly decide, but what I do know is that our generation has produced what is arguably one of the greatest cultural anomaly's of all time - the "hipster". And while I originally passed this off as a simple trend or current scene, it's becoming more and more apparent, that not only is "hipster" here to stay, but it may in fact be the new-millennial counterculture.

Whatever Generation?Collapse )

Is this truly us?

August 2nd, 2008

AIAIG?

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Rainbow.
This transitional period has got me thrown.

Whatever you call this summer (fun, boring, too short, too long), there is no denying that for most, this may be not only our last summer home, but our last summer's as whatever it is we are right now. As a result, I can't help but reflect back one everything and everyone, and wonder: Do we really know anything about each other?

It's an odd thought, but as I laid awake at 5:00am, it really hit me that regardless of how much I may love the people around me (both ones I have loved, ones I do love, and ones I will love), I may really never know anything about them. Aside from whatever initial attraction sparks the possibility of a relationship (both friendship and love), whatever the common grounds may be, and whatever foundations are built, how do you really get to know someone? How do you develop a relationship? What is it that causes these palpable emotions we have for each other to be, simply, 'worth it'?

There must be a deeper layer that one must peel in order to really know someone, but that layer seems to be so isolated to the given person; that deeper layer isn't something that anyone is really able to convey, define, or as a result, share. So again, how do we really know someone? And most terrifying of all, does anyone really know me? Part of me hopes that I'm a creature complex enough to warrant deeper consideration, but another part of me wonders if I have truly shared anything about myself in these past 10 or so years. Oddest of all, is there anything to really share? Is it that no one knows me, or that there simple isn't anything to know? Or perhaps are the things that truly define me so undefinable that no one other than myself will ever truly be able to comprehend it? In short, am I all I've got?

Maybe. And maybe that's fine. This post has no thesis, nor meaning, no concise argument. Instead, it's riddled with rhetorical questions that no one will be able to answer by myself, which is ironically the exact issue at hand. Are we, as a society, closed off because we are scared to see ourselves in other people, or is it because there is truly no way to "know" someone enough to warrant the energy a true relationship takes. That's not to say that every existing relationship is false - far from it. Frankly, every connection that we have exists with a seemingly tangible aura, but is the basis for those relationships substantial enough? Do I know people, do they know me, and is there really anything to know? Can we truly know any of the things needed to build something complex enough to matter?

How can I expect people to to help me define myself when the tools necessary are written in a language only I can read?

August 1st, 2008

8.1

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FKA twigs Furby
August is here, and with it, summer comes to a close.

And by close, I mean I have another two months here. Yikes!

Things have been pretty solid as of late. On monday, Leesa, Izzy, Janet, Vinney, and I attempted to go to the Jelly Bean facotory, but apparently it was the hot spot, because the line was over an hours wait and everyone ever was there (seriously - we saw Rachel Stanbro). While the factory tour was a bust to say the least, we spent a good 30 minutes in the store, admiring all the different kinds of Jelly Beans (Cake flavor? It tasted just like funfetti!), and all the eerie Ronald Reagan paraphernalia. Afterwards, we went to Vacaville attempting to go to Nut Tree for lunch, but instead ending up at Boudin's doppleganger, except not nearly as delicious. We drove back and Vinney and Leesa departed. Janet, Izzy, and I opted for a trip to a "cute town", which ended up being us going down Lucas Valley Road, ending up in Fairfax, and deciding we wanted to have a picnic. We got the proper materials from Woodland Market, and went to feast by the duck pond. Jesus, take the wheel. It was beyond freezing. We ate by the water and cried tears that became icicles - yowza! Afterwards, we went and rented The Darjeeling Limited and The Virgin Suicides, with Hannah and Chris eventually joining us for the movie watching at Izzy's. I enjoyed The Darjeeling Limited, but I still can't classify myself as a Wes Anderson fan; I still find him to be ridiculously overrated, and while I am starting to understand the meaning and subtext of his aesthetics, I still find him to be a remarkably stilted storyteller. Sofia Coppola, on the other hand, I seem to like more and more each time I see one of her films. The Virgin Suicides proves to really be just as wonderful as I was hoping. It had its issues, but I have to say I was really pleased. It's good to see that she really deserves whatever success comes her away, and that much of it can be attributed to her actual talent, as opposed to her bloodline.

My job has been going really well. A lot of this week has been spent writing and writing. My review of The Dark Knight got stupendous praise from the staff, which was one of the most rewarding feelings I've ever had. At only 19, I'm the youngest person reviewer on staff, with everyone else in their mid 30's to late 40's. With the DVD's I was being sent (Flavor of Love 3, The Hills, etc), it was clear that they were pushing me into a specific niche of reviewing. But my Dark Knight review really seems to have switched things up. John Sinnot (the editor), who never emails you unless it's to tell you you're doing something wrong, sent me an email the morning after my review was on the server telling me how impressed he was with my voice and analysis, "especially at such a ridiculously young age". It was absolutely wonderful to get that praise - the only thing better was finding out that my review was the number 5 most popular review on the whole website by this past tuesday. YoYo Ma!

Link to The Dark Knight (if anyone cares): http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/34044/dark-knight-the/

Other than that, things are going well. I've just been writing, buying clothes, seeing people, and writing.

Good stuff, sir. Good stuff.

Edit. The Dark Knight review has hit 1,003 hits! A record breaking amount of hits for a theatrical review! Fabulash!

June 26th, 2008

Yikes.

My last entry was before I even arrived in Marin. Too much has happened for me to try to remember and record. All I'll say is that the first couple weeks back in Marin County have been beyond phenomenal. Between party's at Leesa/Hadas' house, baking and watching Planet Earth, delicious dinner's, Death Cab, Lava Monster, and more, it's been a pretty full batch of days.

I'm in Tahoe with the family until Wednesday, and the house is beyond gorgeous. The trip turned out to be a sudden surprise, with my mom calling me to let me know on Monday. Yikes. But it was a pretty fabulous surprise. Another fabulous surprise is that I got a job as a dvd reviewer for DVDtalk.com. Finding out I got the job was one of the highlights of my year. Everyone on staff is older, and they were already pretty packed with reviewers, so they weren't even looking for new people. But they really dug my sample review (score) and application (meow). I was checking my e-mail non-stop for the news. SoFuckingHappy.

Yessir.
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